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Post by mikeybanting on Nov 19, 2007 19:42:26 GMT
A young Technician and his Manager board a train headed through the mountains headed to Denver.
They look and look but can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a short time it becomes obvious that the young woman and the young technician are interested in each other, they keep giving eachother looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the loud sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The Manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss that girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Manager all at the same time!"
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Post by chrishornet1 on Nov 19, 2007 19:47:04 GMT
lol
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Post by mikeybanting on Nov 19, 2007 19:51:40 GMT
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go use the new computer at the pharmacy that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you how to cure it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went back to the pharmacy. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better within two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. The next day he went back to the pharmacy, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noises/flashing lights and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water isnt clean. Get a water purifier. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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Post by chrishornet1 on Nov 20, 2007 19:18:43 GMT
Lmao
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Post by pyropower on Nov 21, 2007 13:25:03 GMT
how do you get this stuff
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Post by the coder on Nov 21, 2007 16:54:53 GMT
by having sex with you
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Post by chrishornet1 on Nov 21, 2007 20:23:58 GMT
lol, matt, some jokes are just passed on, sometimes it's just comic genius.
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Post by mikeybanting on Nov 21, 2007 21:05:25 GMT
yes i am a comic genius
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Post by chrishornet1 on Nov 21, 2007 21:39:48 GMT
lol, not really
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Post by mikeybanting on Nov 22, 2007 18:35:19 GMT
yes i am
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Post by chrishornet1 on Nov 22, 2007 20:27:32 GMT
yeah, or not
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Post by admin on Nov 24, 2007 14:01:08 GMT
due to so many jokes being posted ive created a board for jokes please repost ur jokes and others there i shall then lock the thread becos posting lol is becoming pointless soz ppl
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